Insecurity is a terrible affliction and can keep us from reaching our purpose and our destiny. This life is about other people, but it is not about obsessing about what other people think.
“Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self-doubt- a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world. Insecurity is associated with chronic self-consciousness, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships. The insecure man or woman lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate.” The Tender Heart: Conquering Your Insecurity by Joseph Nowinski.
We must look only to Him for our self worth and our value. When we look to anyone else to satisfy our desperate need it will be a disaster. He is the only one who sees all that we are and loves us completely and unconditionally.
As women we can feel insecure in many of our relationships, but our relationship with the opposite sex may be our greatest struggle.
We must look back to Abraham and Sarah to see an example of what dysfunction in a relationship can do to our self worth if we do not have a complete foundation in Jesus Christ.
Now Abraham moved on from there into the region of the Negev and lived between Kadesh and Shur. For a while he stayed in Gerar, 2 and there Abraham said of his wife Sarah, “She is my sister.” Then Abimelek king of Gerar sent for Sarah and took her.
3 But God came to Abimelek in a dream one night and said to him, “You are as good as dead because of the woman you have taken; she is a married woman.”
4 Now Abimelek had not gone near her, so he said, “Lord, will you destroy an innocent nation? 5 Did he not say to me, ‘She is my sister,’ and didn’t she also say, ‘He is my brother’? I have done this with a clear conscience and clean hands.”
6 Then God said to him in the dream, “Yes, I know you did this with a clear conscience, and so I have kept you from sinning against me. That is why I did not let you touch her. 7 Now return the man’s wife, for he is a prophet, and he will pray for you and you will live. But if you do not return her, you may be sure that you and all who belong to you will die.”
8 Early the next morning Abimelek summoned all his officials, and when he told them all that had happened, they were very much afraid. 9 Then Abimelek called Abraham in and said, “What have you done to us? How have I wronged you that you have brought such great guilt upon me and my kingdom? You have done things to me that should never be done.” 10 And Abimelek asked Abraham, “What was your reason for doing this?”
11 Abraham replied, “I said to myself, ‘There is surely no fear of God in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife.’ 12 Besides, she really is my sister, the daughter of my father though not of my mother; and she became my wife. 13 And when God had me wander from my father’s household, I said to her, ‘This is how you can show your love to me: Everywhere we go, say of me, “He is my brother.”’”
This is the second time that Abraham has committed this act. He did it the first time in chapter 12 with Pharaoh. Here is a prime example of what happens when we do not learn our lesson the first time around, we are destined to repeat it. Abraham again allows fear to cause him to sin and to put his wife in harms way. God again comes to the rescue. Abraham begins his explanation to Abimelech in verse 11 and first he states that, “There surely is no fear of God in this place.” Yet, when God appears to Abimelech he seems to show more fear of God than Abraham who fails to believe God again in regards to his own safety. Then Abraham’s discourse just seems to go from bad to worse, “Besides she really is my sister.” This sounds like an excuse Paige my 8 year old daughter would come up with. Yes, she was his half sister, however, he left the crucial information out which would involve her being his wife.
Verse 13 begins with, “And when God had me wander from my father’s household” now Abraham begins to pass blame to God. If God had not had Abraham leave his home then he wouldn’t have had to resort to this kind of behavior. Abraham then tells us what he said to Sarah to get her to go along with this lie for the second time, “This is how you can show your love to me.” Wow. This is manipulation in it’s most basic form.
This is how you can show your love for me. If you love me you will do this for me, even if it involves lying about who you really are.
How many times in our own lives have we heard this from those we love?
We must show our love by either lying about our true identity or lying by keeping silent about things that demand a voice. We may have had this told to us by people who were supposed to love us for we are and not for what they wanted us to be. Perhaps, they never asked us to lie about ourselves, but we determined that this might be the only way they would truly accept us. If we tried harder to be someone else then maybe they would love us.
These are dangerous words that Abraham utters to Sarah. “If you love me then you will lie.”
God never says these words to us. The enemy of our hearts says these words to us all the time. “If only you could look a certain way, if only you could act differently, be smarted, funnier, thinner etc.” These words come from the father of lies and not from our God. God loves us exactly how He made us and He wants us to be comfortable in our own identity. He will never help us be someone else. He will only help us be ourselves. He will help us rest in our identity in Christ. We have to stop believing the lies of the enemy that tell us we really need to be a little different and then we will have what we need.
We must love ourselves before we will ever find our destiny. It is required! It will not happen in any other order. #focusedfaith #thepainofinsecurity #findingourpurpose
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Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net by nenetus.